I am trying to be better about being home whenever I go home. What I’m saying is that I’m actively reshaping my relationship with escapism whenever I go home. I’m not trying to be heavy, I’m just making the point that for 23 years I have spent so much time trying to figure out how to leave it–and now I’m wrestling with accepting, now as an adult, the weird familiarity and comfort it brings me to be there. I’m also practicing being more vulnerable. It’s been an interesting lesson to show up and be seen. Time wears on though, and I realized that part of showing up is standing where you’re at and knowing where your feet are. I don’t have much else to add to this other than I went back home, and I took a lot of photos of the things that make my heart ache a bit. This was only in about a 2-5 mile radius, my intention is to photograph the entire city, and I’m realizing it’s gonna be a bit of time. Part of me wants to plan to shoot in the summer just for dramatic effect- but I don’t know how long you can go on thinking how romantic 100 degree whether is.
The one of my shadow is in my parents backyard, I’m standing on top of one of the three big and good and sturdy rocks out back. I took the photo and looked up and across the way to the cypress tree in the front of the house, only to see a hawk being so so still on the tip top that I noticed it was a bit crooked, the tree not the hawk. The next week a windstorm came through and knocked it over. I got some kind of feeling about it, not sure what though.